Wednesday, June 12, 2013

To Ends and New Beginnings.

While JD is going through a Maint. I thought I should come here and clear a few things up.

Why, I haven't been as active on Jade Dynasty like I used to, the past few months. Why I have been constantly stuck in Trade Realm and Botting. Why I'm not doing the PVE things with the alliance. And/Or why most importantly when I say I'm sick I'm not offline 24/7 and still coming on game.

I have been diagnosed with Endometriosis, It's a painful illness that causes severe pain in my stomach which is utterly random. It started a long time ago, unnoticed, everyone thought it was a usual tummy ache and I took normal meds. When it kept getting worse I got a check up done and it turned out my condition was close to getting an Ovarian Cancer. After a lot of panic and going through a lot of painful tests, I was put under test treatment. Meanwhile, I kept trying to do things as normal on JD but the spasm like pain would get in the way, in mid-war, in time to turn vouchers in, in most crucial time of talks. Made me feel horrible to be unable to help when I badly wanted to. I told people in the alli, 3 months ago, briefly that I'm sick. Some knew the most details, like hawk, and the alli Marshal was the only one who knew my entire condition and everything I was going through. I passed Warlord to other members as soon as I noticed I wouldn't be able to as much active as I was like a no lifer before.

It hurt not being able to do things with my friends like before, I cherish my alli, everyone there is my family, and it hurt to be the one who was left out of everything because I couldn't tell when the pain would accelerate. Nakamahazure tte kanji... like everyone is moving forward without me being able to be there or part of it. Several times my CP/MTH/ET vouchers expired just because I wasn't able to sit up during the half hour or so it took to be there to do it. I missed a lot of fun wars as well. A lot of alli events.. weddings... list is endless.
Vending was a much simpler thing to do, set things up, world chat, and leave, come back, re-enter that same world chat and done.

Certain people took advantage of me not being able to do things, and made it look like I didn't want to do things specifically with the alli, trying to portray me as a stuck up person who thinks she's better than the rest of the alli. I'm not. It's an alli, everyone's a part of the family, not superior or inferior. Just a family.

Me being online despite being sick, was for the same reason, I tried my best to do whatever I could in the little time I had to be online, vending things for people, price checking, finding things they needed or simply just trying to talk around. I don't believe in if you're sick just give up and lay down. I want to try and do my best even if it seems like I can't. And being on and doing as much as I did, was me trying to be there for my family on JD.

To everyone who stuck with me and put up with my absence, Thank you. I'm grateful to have such amazing friends who could understand and be there. You looked out for me and cared about my well being even though you didn't know the details of my illness, even when it meant I won't be able to help you out in game, I'll do my best to be there for you when you need me for whatever you may need me for. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Unavaible, Yuechin, Gati, KingVT, ChloeT, kenzoo, shinwa, Thank you for always yelling at me to rest xD I love you guys <3

To everyone who sought the easier way out and pushed the blame of things on me without ever trying to ask me reasons for why I wasn't able to be like I was before, Thank you, you taught me that there are people there who no matter what you do for them, can only look out for themselves and not give a damn about other people or try to understand. It was a nice time we spent together when we did, good luck with your life here on ^^ I will be fine, this much won't break me ^^ I'll continue to do things as I can so I never regret later. zettai taorenai yo.

To the end of a long long illusion, and to new beginnings with new friends. Let's all be happy together with the little things we can all do as a family. Money and items eventually lose value, but as long as you have someone by your side who's willing to help you stand back on your feet every single time you fall, you'll be alright ^^ Even if it's a game, the people and their feelings are still there. The good or bad you do to others, comes back to you in some form sometime. Let's all play fair together ^^
Friends, are important, in game or real life, doesn't make a difference because friends are always important.

I'm trying to get better as soon as I can, already being on and active more than before, hopefully we'll have a lot of alliance events and giveaways and more later,

Most of all, Thank you Gchaos, for always being there for me through good and bad, Daisuki. Anata no kawari wa sekai juu de doko ni mo inai.